Dear bereaved mother,

Dear bereaved mother,

I’m so very sorry for your loss and the unimaginable twist of fate you’re now living. It’s a horrible journey that can’t be put into words.

From one bereaved mother to another, I want to offer some insight I hope will be helpful.

Waves of emotions will feel suffocating, and take you to the limit of human pain. In those moments, do nothing but breathe.

Eventually those waves will become less intense and less frequent.

It takes a while for that to happen, but hold on to the hope that eventually it will become less raw. Because it does.

Many nights you’ll feel like ending your own life. Please don’t. Losing a child is survivable, I promise.

You might not remember much for the next few years. This is normal. It’s how the brain reacts to shock.

You will feel like a square peg in a round world, but you aren’t the only square peg. Together, we learn to live in a round world. I promise.

Friends and family can’t fathom the depths of your loss. Seek comfort and understanding from those of us who speak your loss language. We get everything you’re going through, the need to lick your wound in private, feeling like you’re going crazy, the despair of living without your child.

When spending time among us, you’ll also see that one day the despair does lift. Further, you’ll discover collateral blessings that wouldn’t have come about any other way. Hard to believe, I know. But trust that it will happen.

Above all, just know that the journey is survivable. Because it is.

I promise.

Lynda Cheldelin Fell
lynda@lyndafell.com